Advice for transitioning from 1 child to 2 (or more)
When you are pregnant with your first, you are inundated with all kinds of well-meaning advice on adjusting to life with a new baby. From feeding and sleep schedules to car seats and diaper creams, it seems the books, blogs, and social media feeds are flush with content to prepare you for this monumental change. But when you find yourself ready to welcome another baby into your world, the advice you are seeking changes, and you may find that content a bit harder to find.
Image Courtesy of Brooke Sims
You’re not alone. As you prepare to welcome baby number two, we have rounded up some actual helpful advice to help you with this life transition:
Hold fast to your routines.
Yes, a new baby means a new schedule, new priorities, and less sleep. Even in this changing time, think about some of the most important routines that you can keep the same for your oldest and stick with them as much as possible, even if that means leaning on outside help. This will help your child with any anxiety they may be feeling and allow you something familiar to count on. Think about this ahead of time and decide what some of those things will be for your family.
If you can, and this applies, keep your older child in daycare even while you are on leave.
This not only allows your child to stay in a familiar routine with loving caregivers, but it also gives you some space to care for your newborn for a few hours each day without feeling pulled in multiple directions.
Free up your hands by wearing your baby.
Find a baby wrap or carrier that works well for you so that you can move about a little more freely while soothing your little one. This frees your hands for multitasking and playing with your oldest while also providing the closeness your newborn desires.
New to babywearing?
Give your oldest child a role to play.
Depending on their age, let them bring you diapers, pick out the baby’s outfit, find a special toy, or push the baby’s stroller. This will help your child feel a part of this new world and remind them they are just as important to you even as this new baby garners all kinds of new attention.
Give yourself grace.
It will take some time to get through the initial transition and figure out what your “new” life looks like. Recognize that naps may get dropped, meals may get simpler, and you’ll just need to ride out the wave for a few weeks until you settle into something that works for your family. This time won’t last forever. Be kind to yourself as you go through it.
Accept help, even better, don’t be afraid to ask for it.
Before the new baby comes, reach out to friends and family and schedule time for them to help – either to assist with grocery pick up, tidying around the house, holding the new baby while you spend time with your oldest, or bringing over a craft or activity to engage your oldest while you care for your newborn.
Accept that there will be crying.
And it won’t just be the baby. Lean into all the emotions you and your family are feeling during this time and know that this too shall pass.
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Prioritize rest and re-prioritize everything else.
Finding rest when caring for two (or more) tiny humans is hard. Sometimes nap schedules will align, but don’t count on it. Let a few more things go than you normally would–and know that it will all be ok. We can’t state this enough: accept help when it comes. Leaning into your village during this time will allow you to get the mental and physical rest you need.
Let others do the caretaking, and don’t feel guilty.
Let others take care of your oldest child so you can focus on the new baby. Let others take care of the baby so you can focus on your oldest. Let others take care of BOTH children so you can focus completely on YOU.
Google is still your friend.
Just because you have gone through the newborn stage before does not mean that everything will be exactly the same–not only is every baby different, but YOU are different! In fact, you simply may not remember everything. You may want or need to find new ways to do things, so seek out the research and the advice. You don’t have to feel like an expert.
Remember that this transition time is a phase…
…and it will grow into a new phase and on and on it will go. Just like parenting. Every stage of child development is different. What is frustrating and exhausting now won’t be like this forever. Take heart in knowing that you will find your footing, things will get smoother, and you will gain confidence as a mom of multiple kiddos.
From our Citymoms…a look at their little siblings:
Transitioning from one child to two may feel like nothing more than applying what you learned the first time around to this latest tiny human; after all, you’ve done this before, it couldn’t be that different, could it?
We’re here to remind you that on those days when the difference feels bigger than it should, you are not alone. Take heart–as with all transitions, the toughest part won’t last forever. You’ll find just what you need to thrive during this season, even if it takes a little time.
