Let's discuss the five roles in motherhood.
As a mom, we are the everything:The sounding board, the artist’s assistant, the cleaning lady, the password holder, the lunch packer... The list goes on and on. Let’s discuss the five roles we play on the daily: Five roles that keep us busier than busy, and working for some of the neediest clients on the planet.
As I see it, here are the five roles in motherhood:
Administrative Assistant:
When you have kids, the first 5 years are really hard. You are tired all the time, but you feel good about what you are doing… teaching them their ABCs, keeping them healthy and fed, and then soon you’ll be ready to send them off to school. Once they hit school age, you become their little administrative assistant. Somedays are better than others, but you are in charge of all paperwork that comes home via their little hands (which sometimes gets lost on the bus) and expected to know when something has been sent home, but not actually made it into your home. I’m not super organized, but I’m also not the worst. However, the school calendar and all papers that actually MEAN something tend to fall into the abyss that is my desk (and honestly sometimes the trash). I’m still looking for that damn purple school calendar that came home on back to school night…But not only are you in charge of keeping track of school spirit weeks, teacher notes/emails, and PTO events, you have to do all the things at home too. You have to keep up with homework and reading, as well as organizing memory books with their adorable colored pictures, first A+ or 100% on a test, and permission slips and folders, and all else that comes with school. There is no preparation for when your first child heads to school… First it’s excitement, shock and sadness that your baby is growing up, but it quickly turns to how did I graduate from college but can’t figure out how to do this math homework and log into this new school app?!Other duties includes, but are not limited to: Making sure they get on and off the bus, scheduling play dates, texting other parents to see if you should worry about one thing or another, discussing their future. But don’t worry, they’ll never fire you. They need you.
Cleaning Lady:
Picking up after the kids is the worst. Kids are gross. They make messes everywhere. And it’s like they can’t see the messes once they are made. And can’t smell the smells… yes, there are smells! I know, I know, train your kids young to pick up after themselves. I swear, I tried. I’m still trying, but there’s constantly a towel here, shoes there, a plate on the table or a drink left in the loft. It’s a constant. This is one that can be minimized by a little extra tough love training, but there’ll always be things to clean. Clothes are always needing washed, stain treated, dried and put away. While some of these tasks can be divvied out, most are for the maid, and that’s you. So stock up on the Up & Up spray cleaner, Febreeze, and carpet cleaner because this is a job you’ll be in charge of forever. Other tasks for the cleaning lady include but are not limited to sheet changing, vacuuming, dishes, organizing… the list goes on and on… *Do not expect most husbands to fill in on these tasks either – they are like another kid.*This is a job with no vacation time because if you do go on break, your kids will run out of clothes to wear, moldy food will linger, and smells will ensue and believe me, you don’t want that.
Driver:
I feel like I’m always driving somewhere. And it’s more often than not somewhere for my kiddos. Soccer, Girl Scouts, School, Movie Night, Sleepover… What am I missing?! Calling us a “Soccer mom” is really just the tip of the iceberg. Until your kids are at least 16.5, you will be the one taking them to a friend’s house, back to school because they forgot something in their locker, sports club practices and games, and more. And while you are driving them, they’ll request things like snacks, turn the air on, turn the air off, turn the movie on, turn the movie off, turn the music up, turn it down, etc. As driver, you’ll be multitasking more than you ever though you could. You’ll also be expected to have random items at a moment’s notice. Think extra straws, napkins, hair ties, wipes, wi-fi, etc. Oh, and you’ll be expected by your husband to maintain a clean at all times car. But know this job never ends…While you can’t get fired from this by your children until they can drive themselves, you can take mini vacations. Think of asking friends for help as mini vacation. It might be just one day off, but you can rely on other parents at times to help out. And sometimes, if you are firm, you can make your husband do some of the running around too.
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Personal Shopper + Stylist:
Laying out outfits on the daily is just the beginning… As personal stylist, you are also in charge of making sure ALL clothing options for your child can somehow match so when they go through the phase of picking out their own outfits, they can still look decent while having made their own choices. Know that this will 100% be a reflection on you. If you are with your kids when they look like a hot mess, people will be like “are you ok today?” but if they look like that with your husband he will inevitably get the “great job dad they are so cute” looks. You’ll also want to know what clothes are in the client’s friends closets. A tricky one, I know. But as personal stylist, you will be required to know what pink mermaid shirt Stella is wearing tomorrow for twin day and that your client has said she is wearing too.You are also in charge of resale and donations. You must go through the drawers on a monthly basis to make sure the items in the clients closet still fit. If your client’s clothes are no longer fitting, you must secretly hide or dispose of them without the clients knowledge because if they find out, the pieces that no longer fit will come out again… and again, your reputation as a stylist will be in question.This is a job you can be fired from. But don’t worry, you will typically be paying for all items so they can’t do too much without your approval and credit card.
Personal Chef:
I don’t cook all the time, but when I do, I do my best to make one meal that everyone will eat. Inevitably, my culinary skills are questioned by all. Children push plates and proclaim “YUCK” to noodles with sauce. They make the squirmiest faces when I make something that isn’t their favorite. They even chug water after every bite if I make them eat fish. BUT, I’m the chef and I can’t offer Stuffed Chicken Valentine or Rack of Lamb like a 5 Star Restaurant… I do my best to give them meals that are full of nourishment and unique tastes and when I can’t, I order in. Voluntary Job. If you can afford it, feel free to hire out or eat out more often, but if you are like me, you are voluntarily in a thank-less position. So there you have it, these are five extra jobs we do as moms on the daily. I say extra because we have to take care of ourselves and our things too. No wonder we are always tired and sometimes cranky?! Now let’s try to fit in a nap… bwahahaha.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Abigail Hake Kellermeyer is a former professional figure skater who works full time as a Program Specialist for Customs Border Protection. In her spare time you can find her blogging about her most recently attended CityMoms event, fun DIY how-tos and more at her own site, Little Miss Martha.Abby lives in Noblesville with her hockey guru husband Mike and their two spitfire daughters Ella and Olive.